Understanding Resilience

Resilience is more than just a trendy term—it’s a vital skill that shapes how we navigate life’s inevitable challenges. While the concept has been studied since the 1970s, today, it is often misunderstood or oversimplified. So, what does it truly mean to be resilient? How do we cultivate it? And why is it essential for personal and professional growth?

At its core, resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep moving forward. It’s not about avoiding difficulties but about facing them head-on with determination and perspective.

Traits of Resilient Individuals

Research shows that resilient people share common characteristics that help them thrive in adversity:

• Emotional Agility: They regulate their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in response to changing circumstances.

• Optimism with Realism: They acknowledge challenges while focusing on opportunities.

• Perseverance: They push forward despite obstacles and setbacks.

• Self-awareness: They recognize when they need support and aren’t afraid to seek it.

• Strong Relationships: They cultivate meaningful connections and rely on their support networks.

• Constructive Problem-Solving: They approach difficulties with a solutions-oriented mindset.

Building Resilience

Resilience is not an innate trait—it’s a skill that can be developed at any stage of life. Here’s how:

1. Reframe Challenges

Instead of viewing hardships as insurmountable, shift your perspective. Every setback carries a lesson, and every struggle has the potential to fuel growth.

2. Foster Meaning and Purpose

Finding purpose in difficult experiences can transform how we respond to them. Whether through personal reflection, faith, or meaningful work, a sense of purpose strengthens resilience.

3. Strengthen Your Support System

Human connection is essential. Resilient individuals build strong networks of friends, family, and colleagues who provide encouragement and perspective during tough times.

4. Embrace Change

Life is unpredictable, and change is inevitable. Resilient people develop flexibility, learning to adapt rather than resist the shifts life brings.

5. Develop Healthy Coping Strategies

Taking care of your mental and physical well-being is fundamental to resilience. Exercise, rest, mindfulness, and creative outlets all contribute to a balanced and resilient mindset.

6. Take Action

Resilience is about more than endurance—it’s about action. When faced with challenges, taking small, purposeful steps forward builds confidence and momentum.

Dispelling Myths About Resilience

Myth: Resilience is an inherent trait—you either have it or you don’t.
Reality: Resilience is learned through experience, practice, and mindset shifts.

Myth: Resilient people don’t feel stress or negative emotions.
Reality: They experience challenges just like anyone else but have strategies to process and move through them.

Myth: Being independent and self-reliant makes a person more resilient.
Reality: Strong social connections are one of the greatest sources of resilience. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Myth: Adversity itself makes people stronger.
Reality: Growth comes from how we respond to adversity, not the hardship itself.

Myth: Healthy families don’t experience difficulties.
Reality: Every family faces struggles. What sets resilient families apart is their ability to work through them together.

Final Thoughts

Resilience isn’t about avoiding hardship—it’s about facing it with courage, adaptability, and support. By developing resilience, we equip ourselves to handle life’s uncertainties and emerge stronger, wiser, and more empowered from difficulties.

Glimmers: Small Moments, Big Impact

Let's admit it. The world is overwhelming and challenging at times, and this can cause us to overlook small but powerful moments that can bring us peace, joy, and connection. These are moments “when our biology is in a place of connection and regulation, making our nervous system feel safe and calm” (Deb Dana).  These moments, known as glimmers, are brief, positive experiences that signal safety, hope, and love.  They tell our mind and body that we are thriving. But what exactly are glimmers, and how do they improve our well-being?  Glimmers, grounded in science and faith, help us build resilience and live with intentionality - what we call thriving by design.  We are not created to merely survive but to live abundantly. John 10:10 reminds us of Jesus’ words, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

The Science Behind Glimmers

From a neurological standpoint, glimmers are connected with the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for rest, recovery, and overall well-being.  Glimmers calm the body and trigger the release of serotonin and oxytocin. Serotonin is one of the chemical messengers responsible for positive mood, and oxytocin is known as the love hormone because it is responsible for emotions such as trust and connection. By consciously noticing and appreciating these moments, we can rewire our brains to seek out positivity, reducing stress and building resilience over time.  Dr. Deb Dana, a leading expert in the nervous system and Polyvagal Theory, introduced the concept of glimmers as tiny cues of safety that activate the ventral vagal system and promote a sense of calm and connection.  Her book, Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal, expands on this topic and offers solutions to help you  “become more aware of your nervous system moment to moment―and change the way you respond to the great and small challenges of life” (Deb Dana).

Glimmers and Faith

Most spiritual traditions recognize beauty, grace, and divine presence in everyday life. From faith-based perspectives, glimmers can be God’s gentle reminders that brighten our days and remind us of His presence amid challenges.

Biblical passages like Psalm 46:10 (“Be Still and know that I am God”), which is literally tattooed on my arm (I need a lot of reminders), encourage mindfulness and awareness of God’s presence in our world and our everyday lives. We are called to pause and recognize the sacredness in small moments.  Glimmers are a precursor to gratitude, helping you tune into divine nudges of comfort, peace, and encouragement.

Why are Glimmers Important for Thriving?

• They assist in rewiring the brain for resilience.

  • Romans 12:2 says we can “Be transformed by the renewing of our minds.”

• They strengthen faith and trust.

  • Psalm 16:11 states, “In Your presence there is fullness of joy.”

• They shift focus from struggle to gratitude.

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:18 instructs us to “Give thanks in all circumstances.”

How to Cultivate More Glimmers in Your Life:

• Practice Mindfulness: Slow down and intentionally notice the small moments of beauty and connection around you. Notice your pace and slow down enough to recognize what is around you. If you know me, you know that I am still in the process of learning this one.

• Engage Your Senses: Savor the warmth and aroma of your morning coffee, listen to the songs of the birds as they wake up in the morning, smell the fragrance of the trees as they warm with the sun, or notice the soft texture of your blanket.

• Express Gratitude: Keep a journal of your daily glimmers, no matter how small. Reflecting on them strengthens your ability to notice more. Glimmers are cumulative; the more you notice, the more positive effects will carry over into the rest of your day.   If you use our Thrive by Design Daily Planner, there are sections where you can write these on your daily pages. 

• Stay Present in Relationships: Genuine conversations, shared laughter, or an encouraging word from a friend are all glimmers in disguise just waiting to be noticed.  

• Connect with Nature: Nature is full of glimmers waiting to be noticed.  The perfect dew drops catching the emerging sunlight, the first blossoms of spring waiting to burst forth, or the majesty of a snow-capped mountain peak just scratches the surface of what is available each day.

• Engage Your Faith: We are all part of something much more significant than ourselves, and any time we engage with scripture, worship, or the recognition that what is around us is the canvas of our Creator God, we transcend the moment and experience glimmers.

Glimmers remind us that joy, peace, and divine comfort are always within reach - if only we can pause and notice them.  They are biological responses and spiritual gifts given to us by the God who created us. When we train our hearts and minds to recognize these moments, we open ourselves to a more profound sense of resilience, connection, and hope.  Take a moment today to notice the small things - a kind smile, a deep breath, and a song that lifts your spirit.  These are not coincidences; they are gifts. They are proof that you are not alone, that God designed you to thrive, and that hope is always within reach.

What glimmers have you noticed in your life recently?  Share your thoughts or tag a friend who could use some extra light today. Post a photo on social media with the #glimmers #thrivebydesign.  Don’t discount these small moments because they can have an outsized positive impact on your days.

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